How to convince a person
Few people understand that in business, as in life, a very important point is the correct relationship with people. People with public speaking skills and the power of persuasion very easily climb to the top of their success. A skill with or convince a person of your dream / goal / idea- this is an invaluable gift And therefore I will now share with you small ones, but I hope they will be very useful for you, rules of skillful persuasion.So, you can win over the interlocutor almost without words and certainly without foam at the mouth. Moreover, you can not only arrange, but also convince him of his own right I use several completely unpretentious methods, which I will talk about further.
1) Take your time.
Always give the person the right to express their opinion or their thought. Do not try to interrupt him or stop him in mid-sentence, no matter what he says. Also, do not rush him or end his statement with your own words. If you ask a question, be sure to wait for an answer, and you do not need to put forward your own versions before the person speaks.
2) Show interest.
When talking, look at your counterpart. Because, even if you listen to him very carefully, but only at the same time look at something else, your interlocutor will generally regard this as a lack of any interest in him. To demonstrate elementary understanding, nod your head from time to time and insert short remarks like these: "yes, yes, I agree", "that's for sure!" Just don't interrupt the conversation with long digressions like: "and you know, now it reminded me of an interesting incident from my childhood ..."
3) Clarify.
In our society, many conflicts arise only because of a banal misunderstanding. To prevent these misunderstandings, use simple clarifications using, for example, these initial phrases: "You must definitely correct me if I'm wrong ...", "If I understand correctly, it turns out ...", "As I understand now you ... "," In other words ... ".
4) Think about it.
When you, during a conversation, take a short pause, supposedly pondering the information you heard, you can find out how confident your counterpart is in your words or in yourself. This technique very often forces people to change their assumptions and wishes for those that are more beneficial to you. And at the same time, you will not even utter a word.
5) Do not speak loudly and calmly.
6) Don't overdo it with smiles.
A smile is of course important element confidential communication, but she must be sincere and not intrusive. That is, it is very important not to overdo it with her. Three quarters of our population are wary of over-smiling people. If it turns out that your mouth is constantly stretched out to the ears, then you will surely get the feeling that you are either acting out friendliness, or do not take seriously the spoken words of the interlocutor and the issue under discussion.
7) Don't be afraid to make mistakes.
You should not be too groveling to prove to people how much they can be mistaken. By doing this, you are just an opaque hint that you are smarter than them. Who will like it? I definitely do not =))) I think you do the same. The best way avoiding this is always admitting the possibility of your own mistake. Let me show you with an example: "I certainly think differently, but it is quite possible that I may be mistaken. Be sure to correct if I say something wrong or in something wrong."
8) Use the form "yes, but ..."
When people hear the word "no" directly, norepinephrine is released into the bloodstream. This immediately, on a subconscious level, sets us up to fight. Conversely, when we hear the word "yes", it leads to the release of pleasure hormones - endorphins - into the body. To all of the above, the conclusion is very simple: instead of saying a sharp "no" in the forehead, it is better to effectively answer: "Yes, but I wanted to ..." and now you can already express your terms of the deal or whatever you have =) )). This way you maintain a friendly atmosphere and force the other person to seek compromises.
All people are different, and everyone has the right to their point of view - this is how or almost so says the philosophical wisdom known for centuries. Say, you need to accept the human right to be yourself and think in your own way. However, it is extremely difficult to come to terms with this fact. It's one thing when the question is about fairly neutral questions like "what kind of music do you like" or "which is better: comedy or action movies." But the situation changes dramatically if the opinion of your opponent influences the adoption of a joint decision. For example, in the case of the conclusion of contracts. And just in cases where it is fundamentally important to convince a person that you, and not he, are right!
In order to convince a person that he is right, it is enough to know some of the things that allow the interlocutor to be attracted to you.
1. Be sincere. Even if everything is boiling inside you, you need to maintain calmness and composure, otherwise the methods of persuasion will not work. Smile broadly and carelessly, you do not need to crawl under your opponent's skin, loosen your grip. Do not pretend that you are absolutely indifferent to the outcome of the negotiations - this is not so. Just be open and open to conversation.
2. Before, that your proposal or point of view is exclusively correct, clearly believe in it yourself. This is so, and it cannot be otherwise.
3. Make it clear to the person that you respect him and his point of view. Intersperse your beliefs with neutral remarks. Insist, but with a smile. And agree with him. Take it for granted: your interlocutor (most likely) is not a stupid person. His point of view is also worthy of respect! The question, by and large, is not how to convince a person, but how to make him want to accept your point of view.
4. Impose your pace on the interlocutor. However, it is not worth doing it abruptly and rudely. You need to be on the same wavelength. But how! It is important that your pace is picked up by the interlocutor, and not vice versa. To do this, after the phrase he said, speak at exactly the same pace as he (slowly or quickly), and at the end of the phrase, be sure to increase or slow down the pace. Thus, you not only create favorable conditions for negotiations, but also subconsciously make it clear to your opponent that he is playing by your rules.
5. Speak the same language. Before you convince a person to buy something from you or to accept your terms, take his place: would you take something that is so diligently "forced"? Unlikely. However, talk about the benefits, interesting to the interlocutor... And it doesn't matter if you are selling something or just convincing a friend of the correctness of your ideas, make it clear that you hear him, listen and, generally speaking, mean the same thing! So you "turn" to the interlocutor and he, willy-nilly, has to give up the defensive position.
6. Don't be boring. Whatever the dispute is: an attempt to sign a business contract on favorable terms for you or to convince a friend that your favorite movie is better than him - there is no point in throwing facts alone. If you have an erudite and gambling person in front of you, he may well bombard you with facts that say the opposite. So you can prove something for a very long time and not prove anything in the end. Agree with him, balance.
7. Submit your arguments in the form of questions. This is paradoxical, but it works. Let's say you are arguing with a friend about whether the role of an actor in this film is the peak of his career. Are you sure that yes - it is. Ask the question: "Can you name the films released during the year where he played better?" And a friend will think a little ... The protection is partially broken.
6. Overcoming resistance. If you have successfully overcome the previous stages, you will notice that the person "thawed" and became more complacent and disposed towards you. In other words, some of the barriers to his resistance have been overcome. How to convince a person that you are right finally? Build the questions in such a way that the interlocutor answers "yes". Ask emotional questions, provide a comfortable environment.
The veil over the mystery of how to persuade people is now somewhat lifted.
In life, situations often arise when it is required to get a partner to perform certain actions and at the same time create the illusion that he came to the decision to perform certain actions on his own. In these cases, applied psychology can come to the rescue, science is extremely important and useful. Almost everyone is susceptible to suggestion, just each person has their own "buttons", by pressing which specialists and experts in souls are able to achieve their goals.
These strategies also have a downside. People who possess the skills of suggestion, even if they do not use them, can themselves successfully avoid attempts to manipulate them. In general, as the ancient Romans said, forewarned is forearmed.
Below are some tricks you can use to achieve a lot. How to use this knowledge, each reader is free to decide for himself - this is a situational and ethical question.
1. Using "baits"
You can call this personal quality frugality or greed, it all depends on the circumstances and motivation, but the desire to save money is inherent in almost all sane people. Any buyer is "led" by the words "action", "discount" and "urgent sale", even if the product is sold at the most common price. In addition, this method is applicable in cases where there are problems with the sale of expensive products. Included with them, you can offer a cheap product with a big discount, and in some cases even free of charge (including its cost in the total price).
2. Creation of the necessary entourage
People tend to think stereotypically, preparing to fight back attempts to impose something on them. Things are much more successful when the environment in which the mind is manipulated does not correspond to the image that the potential "victim" has managed to form in his imagination. For example, difficult negotiations can be conducted in an official place (conference room), but in a regular cafeteria they will give better results.
3. Favors
Psychologists often point to this method of influence, despite its obvious unoriginality and even hackneyedness. In principle, you just need to help in solving some issue to the person on whom the adoption of a favorable decision depends. In response to words of gratitude, you should answer something like “Of course, we are friends! (or partners) ". In no case need to say that this is a trifling favor. It will be quite natural to desire in return to do something pleasant to such a pleasant “friend”.
4. Mimic the object
Observation is needed here. Pose, intonation, facial expressions and favorite words of the object of manipulation should be carefully studied and mirrored. The more carefully this is done, the more successful the conversation will be. No wonder the British say that "like loves like." Scientists call this the "chameleon effect."
5. Controlling the tempo of speech
Rhythm is very important when dealing with difficult clients. If the manipulator himself is not fully convinced of the strength of his own argumentation, he should state his position quickly, so as not to give the interlocutor time to look for weak points. But when the arguments are weighty, then they need to be laid out calmly and with arrangement, offering to evaluate their perfection.
6. Entanglement
This method is often used by scammers, psychologists consider it rather vile, however, in the life of quite decent people there are situations when all means are good. The method consists in masking the real essence behind a veil of secondary distractions.
7. Request for a favor
Other partners show resistance to flattery, easily expose cunning, are indifferent to benefits, but cannot resist when they are simply asked for something. This means that it is necessary to do so, timidly expressing the hope for sympathy.
8. Indicate your awareness
The best way to convince people to behave culturally and law-abidingly is to let them know that their actions are being controlled. For this, a dummy of a surveillance camera (if there is no way to establish a real one), a simple reminder of the return date of the book (that is, that no one has forgotten about it), and so on. In general, "big brother sees everything."
9. Using nouns, not verbs
This rule is effective because most people feel more comfortable in a group. A simple example of comparing two questions:
Do you want to serve in the army?
Do you want to become an officer?
It is clear that in the second case there will be much more applicants.
10. Bullying
People tend to constantly assess the degree of potential danger. If you emphasize in time that making a decision favorable for the manipulator reduces the risks, the issue can be considered resolved.
11. Focusing on the benefits of the right solution
There are two ways to sell a car. If a person says that he wants ten thousand for him, he expresses not the desire of the buyer, but his will. But the phrase "I'll give this Ford for 10,000" is much more convincing, since it formally takes into account the interests of both parties.
Offer a drink. If you want to convince the person of something, offer a hot drink, such as tea, coffee, or cocoa, during the conversation. If you offer a warm drink, a person subconsciously regards you as a warm, pleasant and hospitable person. A cold drink can have the opposite effect. Typically, people feel cold and crave warm food and drinks when they feel isolated from society. Satisfy their need and they will become more receptive to your words.
Ask questions that suggest a “Yes” answer. Start a conversation by asking questions that suggest an affirmative answer, such as "The weather is good today, isn't it?"
- When you get someone to say yes, it will be easier for you to persuade the person to say yes, I will buy this.
- It is best to ask vague questions, but make sure your wife is aware of why you are complimenting the other girl.
Break down the touch barrier. It doesn't matter if you're making a deal or asking someone out on a date, just touch that person by chance. A light touch can increase your chances of promoting a product or service - the interlocutor subconsciously activates a desire to get closer.
- Don't put pressure on people! Try asking the person for a favor after a few weeks.
- Try to be as pleasant as possible during the conversation. If the person is disposed towards you, you will have a better chance of getting what you want.
- There are several ways to look more powerful. You can wear a black suit that is popular with judges, police and clergy, or keep a neutral face. But being dominant doesn't always mean being convincing. If you are a seller, you most likely need to find mutual language with the buyer, not scare him. If you are a controller, you rather need to keep people in a fist, dominating and dominating them.
- Know when to stop. There are people who are very stubborn, and there are those who simply shy away from others.
- If you agree to pay later, sign the contract and use a trusted third party to attend.
- Use the same techniques as the sales assistant to take revenge on him and scare him away. For example, when buying a car, engage in conversation. Ask questions that you know the answers to: "Car sales have dropped, haven't they?" Thus, the seller will go out of his way to sell the product. Remind employees that their wage decreased by accident.
- Share your opinion on the situation the person is in. Let's say someone finds they can see the future. Tell him how scared you were to find something like that in yourself. Perhaps, at first, the person will not share with you the story of his gift - wait a few days. Then tell him about a famous psychic. Perhaps now the person will open up. You need to act in stages - often this is how people open up.
- Don't talk too much. Your task is to understand potential customers, not to get into their wallet. Demonstrate the ability to listen and understand so that people can see that you are ready to serve them for their good. Too many words is a waste of both yours and potential clients' time.
- Make them think, "This is what I need!" This will make it easier to convince people.
Warnings
- Don't speak too fast. You have to be confident, but if you rush to tricks, it can lead to a negative result.
- If you ask too much, your request may be rejected. You haven't asked for anything and you think your chances are slim? Treat this person well and when he has good mood, ask for what you wanted. If a person has Bad mood he will probably get even more angry.
- Do not persuade the person to do something if the request is not conducive to their well-being.
- Do not act rashly and do not use inappropriate words in your messages.
- Once the person finds out that you have been manipulating them, they will feel extremely uncomfortable in your company. Just think how you hate the imposition of goods and services or a passive-aggressive family member.
- Be careful when using persuasion tricks on friends. Sometimes you need to make a decision in your favor and convince others of its correctness. On the other hand, if you do this too often, people may think that you are controlling or manipulating them. This can lead to undesirable consequences.
Everyone at least once in his life communicated with a very stubborn and difficult interlocutor.
Everyone knows that the easiest way to resolve a dispute is to avoid it. However, sometimes the situation requires you to defend your point of view and convince the stubborn interlocutor that you are right. The following 10 tips will help you with this.
1. Be neat and polite
First of all, do not play with the thin threads of a person's pride: you should not offend him, humiliate him and become personal, so you will not prove anything to him and he will go into a defensive position of denial of everything in the world (antagonism). And it is almost impossible to convince a person in such a state.
2. Strong arguments first.
Say the strongest and most compelling arguments for your position first. There is no need to start with trifles, release heavy artillery at once, and only then small infantry to reinforce it.
3. Earn Trust
Try to increase your status and image: argue that you know this in practice, that you have been doing this for many years and have received concrete results or made a lot of money on it.
4. Be smart
A powerful weapon is to say the following: “Yes, yes, in this you are right, this is a good idea, but in this you are completely wrong ...” When a person feels that his thoughts have been noticed, he can already listen to yours.
5. Gross flattery
Praise the person! Compliments, and especially unexpected compliments, will surprise and delight everyone, and this is exactly what you need - to relax your opponent, to reduce his control over the situation.
6. Consistency of consent
The rule of consistency: first tell the person what they agree with (even if they are absolutely obvious things), and then your point of view. In this case, the likelihood of agreement increases many times over.
7. Take the conversation away from dangerous topics
Avoid sharp corners and those that can increase the conflict, as well as those that are weak points for you.
If something like this pops up, urgently turn off the conversation from this, say: "We are not talking about this now, but about ...", "This has nothing to do with the case, only applies to the case ...".
8. Notice every little thing.
Watch the person's non-verbal behavior, it can reveal a lot. Non-verbal behavior includes posture, gestures, and facial expressions. If you notice that after some argument a person's eye twitched, immediately continue to reveal this argument further and in greater detail - this is your strongest argument and the person understands this and is nervous.
9. People love benefits and benefits
Convince the person that what you say to him is very useful and even beneficial for him, and his position, on the contrary, will not bring him anything except “just his position”.
10. Show unexpected attentiveness and respect.
Listen carefully to your interlocutor, even if he annoys you: any person will notice that they are attentive to him, and especially this will be noticed by the one who knows that despite the fact that you disagree with him, you are attentive to him. This way, you will be able to stand out from other people with whom he has ever argued.
Successful victory, because now we know for sure that using these tips, you will win in any dispute!